p I t y :: m a c h I n e
by lotus head
Summary: Neon character fic. [When Neon Nostrad meets them all for the first time, she feels no impending doom.] ::SUPERMILD SPOILERS::


**p I t y . m a c h I n e :: t h e . c r o c o d I l e s . t e a r s **

_**I cannot sing the old songs now!  
It is not that I deem then low;  
'Tis that I can't remember how  
They go.**_

---x

_a pampered doll with a mind of it's own_

_a pawn on the board of reputation._

---x

When Neon Nostrad meets them all for the first time, she feels no impending doom. When she meets Kurapica, this proud young man, she does not feel fate taking hold.

She sees a short, skinny person, and at first she is not sure if it's a boy or a girl. The question is only boosted by the curious clothing. And after the initial thoughts that _this person has absolutely no fashion sense,_ she sees the face, with the dark eyes, and knows this is a boy, if only because of the look in the dark eyes and the turn of the mouth. She has never seen a face like his, because his face is unhappy and indifferent and _incredibly angry _all at once.

She only sees them for what is visible on the surface.

She does not see the blood-red eyes beneath the contacts, and she never sees the blood-red stain on his soul.

She wonders abstractedly if he would let her dress him up.

---x

Neon is frivolous personified.

That is why when she meets the handsome man with the charming grin, she happily accepts the help, without questioning his motives. Because she is Neon Nostrad, important to the mafia and only daughter of a rich man, and there is nothing to fear.

To her credit, she does understand her father is using her. It hurts, but he feels guilty for it and through that guilt she can reach for the thing she wants. She tries to gain as much pity as she can. _Because I'm only a girl!_ She cries. _My father doesn't love me!_

And so she exchanges her fathers love for clothes and body parts, and she thinks it's a rather good exchange.

And she never realizes what she has. And she never sees that this boy, who doesn't have a father to love him, is younger than she is and yet he carries it all without wishing for pity.

Neon Nostrad has not cried real tears for years. Her tears are comparable to a child's tantrum, because they come easily and hold no real meaning. She sows the crocodile tears; the seeds of pity, and reaps the bounty and finds she gets everything she wants within her fathers power.

She doesn't see that this boy hasn't cried any tears for years.

---x

For all her scheming manipulations, she does have a sense of honor, albeit an honor extracted from the television. It's always easier to pretend she is using the power of the Lovely Ghost Writer for good. And sometimes she is, she is saving lives. But more often than not, she is saving them from the fear of the unknown, of what's to come for them, these corrupt and evil men involved in things she doesn't want to know about and chooses to ignore.

_Will the luck run out?_ It's never questioned, but surely she will never lose her power.

They never stop and ask, and when it finally happens, they are unprepared, she doesn't know what to do, and her mind is in a panic, and her sea foam eyes are darting across the room for inspiration much like her pen once darted across the paper. And father is going insane in the other room, and the boy is consoling him with empty words.

They never stop and ask, and because they never do it acts as the catalyst for their downfall.

* * *

**by T.I.B.E.-sway- finished 1/27/2007**

* * *

The poem I used is called 'Changed', by Charles Stuart Calverley.

I really hoped you like this! I don't think it's paticularly Neon-bashing. I only elaborated on the things that were pretty canon. I happened to like this, personally. Sooo! Please review! I'm experimenting with my writing style, because I'm still a very new and immature writer. So constructive criticisim/comments/compliments will be LOVED and ADORED. And, if you have any questions about any of the references I made, please feel free to ask me! I know it's pretty vague, but I liked it that way. Just like I love my weird title that popped into my brain at 2 a.m. last night. XD


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